December Newsletter -  2023

“It’s beginning to look a lot like…..”

Whatever holiday you celebrate this season, we at Shara Smile hope that it is filled with joy, blessings, and most of all..PEACE.

As I am human too, I’m very aware that holidays can bring feelings of loneliness, feeling excluded, or just feeling “not good enough” (believe me, I’ve been there with you!). Everywhere we turn it may seem we are “supposed to” do one thing or the other. The “shoulds” add up and cause feelings that do NOT bring the PEACE that we hoped for.

If I can encourage you to give yourself the gift of TIME to NOTICE your thought patterns. NOTICE when you are playing the “comparison game” (as I call it with my clients). NOTICE and be curious about your feelings. Where do they come from? If it is coming from the social media posts you are viewing, perhaps it is time to scale back. If it is coming from a family member, maybe a conversation is in need, or working on examining where these thoughts came from in the first place.

In my November newsletter, I mentioned “T” trauma and “t” trauma. My guess is that there can be some of both surrounding the holiday and knowing your triggers and why you are being triggered can be very helpful.

So: What is the difference between the two? First, “T” traumas are events that are life threatening, feel life threatening (natural disaster, witnessing or being a victim in a crime, witnessing or being a victim of a catastrophic event), or major psychological events such as the death of a loved one. The “t” traumas don’t involve the same major catastrophic events and are not immediately life threatening. They do create significant strong emotions. These can be events such as a break-up, losing a friend group, or disturbing events that happen over a course of time. A “t” trauma can happen when you are hearing or witnessing fighting in the home, overhearing or receiving verbal abuse, watching the effects of an alcoholic in the home and being in and around those negative relational impacts over time…and so many more.

The bottom line is that the holidays, while they can be merry and bright, can also bring back some dark memories that may impact our quest for PEACE and JOY. Being educated about your own past, your traumas, and your triggers can certainly help enter into a conversation with a loved one or doing some soul searching and soothing on your own…which eventually can bring more peace and joy, if you’re willing and able to do the work!