February Newsletter - 2024

Greetings!

           This month, I wanted to draw our attention to Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Loveisrespect.org reports that one in three teens will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from someone they are in a relationship with before adulthood.

I can recall my first few weeks in college, getting to know a cute guy I met, we were together in his dorm room. He was strong, which I liked, and friendly, and we were casually hanging out. As the evening progressed, I found myself on his dorm bed and we were kissing. This felt safe and fun at first, and then I decided I wanted and needed to stop and go home. He was on top of me at the moment, I stopped kissing him and told him I wanted to get up. He wouldn’t get off of me and wouldn’t let me up. He then said, “what are you going to do if I don’t let you up?”. Now, being pinned down, my alarm bells went off, knowing I was in a boy’s dorm alone, and I really didn’t know him all that well. I got scared. What would I do if he didn’t let me up? What would HE do? I’d never been in a position like this before and I couldn’t believe he wasn’t letting me go.

One of the things holding my keys together was a 5 inch “safety pin” (It was a “pin” to a man’s kilt…I thought it was cool and put it on my keys just for fun, not for safety!). Keys in hand, I “jokingly” replied, “I guess it would be funny if the newspapers reported that a student was stabbed by a safety pin in the morning”. While I stated my “joke”, I had the large safety pin- open- in my hand and had it aimed at his temple. It was just enough to scare him to let me up. We said our “goodbyes”, and I never saw him again. That moment was a lesson to stay aware and be stay safe.

I have heard way too many stories that don’t end with jokes or safe endings. Teen dating violence happens way too often. Let’s take some time to have these important conversations with our young people: what do healthy boundaries sound and look like? What does respect in relationships sound and look like?

There are many ways to give and receive love: Consent, respect, trust, listening and feeling heard, flexibility, and being able to say “no” are just a few ways. If you need more resources, please check the links in “Check It Out” and to talk to your young people!