Forget “The One”! I’ve found “My Many”!

FORGET “The One”! I’ve found “MY MANY”!

Exodus 17:10-15 New International Version (NIV)

The Amalekites Defeated

10 So Joshua fought the Amalekites as Moses had ordered, and Moses, Aaron and Hur went to the top of the hill. 11 As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. 12 When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset. 13 So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword.

14 Then the Lord said to Moses, “Write this on a scroll as something to be remembered and make sure that Joshua hears it, because I will completely blot out the name of Amalek from under heaven.”

15 Moses built an altar and called it The Lord is my Banner.

Galatians 6:2-3 ESV

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

“Have you found ‘The One’?”

“I want to find ‘The One’!”


Hallmark, Hollywood, music and the media in general does a great job of setting those of us who are not with a “significant other” up for feeling a left out and sad, with the visions and storylines of love, romance, and “The One”.

Well, I’d like to challenge those of us who are not with a significant other to say “OUT with “THE ONE” and IN with “MY MANY”!

When I hear the phrase “The One”, it often sets me into a place of wondering when and if I will be included in this special and unique type of relationship. I think about the intimate conversations and experiences I may be missing out on because I do not presently have a significant other. I think about the romance, the intimacies, the connection, the “knowing” of the other. To be honest, the thoughts don’t get me far in moving into a good place, so I’ve had to take some time to really adjust my thought processes with realities when these feelings arise.

When I adjust my thinking, there are several things that come to mind. First, I think of those that have found “The One”. How did they get there?

1) “The One” is easier to FEEL initially. It’s harder to live out over the years.

2)“The One” maybe have taken several years or other “The Ones” for that person to get to. Broken hearts, relationships, and families may have transpired to arrive to the present “One”. Really, it’s a long, hard road (for some) to get to that place of feeling like they have found “The One”.

3) “The One” in that person’s life may feel like that NOW, but there may be moments in every relationship where there was doubt, question and struggle through OTHER moments when “The One” may not be what they felt.

4) “The One” takes time, energy, and a lot of GUTS. It takes courage to share yourself openly to another, to dig deep and be vulnerable. Those couples that last through the initial stages of “The One-ness” have worked hard to do so.

5) “The One” takes work. Couples that have lasted through time feeling like they have found “The One” work at it. It’s not something that has come overnight.

Then on the other side of things:

1) Intimate connection? In my life, I’ve developed MANY close friends and become closer with my family. I have MANY people I can go to when I’m scared, bored, feeling joyful, or mourning. Through connecting with My MANY, I know I have intimacy.

I ask myself, what is it that I feel I’m missing out on?

2) Sharing important activities? I have MANY people in my life I can go out and participate in my favorite activities, celebrations, and holidays with. If one can’t or doesn’t want to go, I have several others to look to. If it doesn’t happen one day (as it happens in any relationship), there are other times when I’ll be able to go and “do” with one of My Many.

3) Physical intimacy? While this is more limited because of my personal and moral values, I get and give lots of hugs, cuddles, kisses, and loving physical affection that come from MANY different people in my life. Physical intimacy isn’t just about sex. It’s about feeling close, deep inside your spirit and heart. This can come in many ways, in many forms and with My Many, I’m happy that I FEEL physically close to so Many.

4) Romance? I’ve found that God sends me romance in a variety of ways through My MANY people and experiences in life. It may be a surprise visit from a friend from out of state that shares a loving word, or an impromptu date that brings me flowers, or a friend that remembered that it was my birthday and sends my favorite kind of beverage (because they know I’d rather not indulge in candy and I’d eat it if they gave it!). God sees my heart, knows what I need and seems to send it at the right times through My Many.

5) Help? This is a big one! BUT AGAIN, I find that My MANY (even new people that spring up out of nowhere!) find ways into my life to HELP me accomplish important tasks, whether it be redecorating my house, designing my new bathroom, getting my car fixed, encouraging me to take a day off, and even bringing me soup and meds when I’m sick!

While the list of WANTS can go on and on, my point is this:

Let’s not focus too much on that elusive “ONE” when we may have “MANY” filling the seeming void that our culture all too many times creates for us through tv, marketing images, and songs. It takes a lot of hard work to be with “The One” and sometimes to get to “The One”. If we don’t have a significant other, let’s look around and enjoy, appreciate, and give value and worth to “THE MANY” that hold our arms up and love us. And let’s face it, We STILL NEED “The MANY” even AFTER we’ve found “The ONE”.

I’m happy to say that I HAVE FOUND “MY MANY”…and I honestly believe it’s just as, and may be even more important than finding “The ONE”.

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